Mac & cheese with rat bastard ease. That’s like doing it on a cornflake.

And oh by the way this shit is really funny.

And by the way the jurk storr called.

Only they didn’t. the issue was, they were you. hah. Get it? shit, you just got got, like big time. Sheeeiittt.

Ferreal doh. and fukn john Jacob jingle heimer Schmidt and his whole fukn crew are gonna know whut’s up with that shit. like lbc style.

Ya know just becuz you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they ain’t after your bitch ass. At least that’s what axl rose told me while we were snorting heroin together in the back parking lot of the viper room off of Pamela lee’s ass. Or wait was that punky Brewster? Anyway.

Man I got holed aces that ain’t been busted since the carter administration. And shit ain’t right if my shit ain’t on the streets, nah mean. Shit. I mean, shit! that shit just ain’t fuckn right and you KNOW that shit so don’t even FUCKING play, ok homey, seriously, that shit would be majorly fucked up. So don’t even. Play.

So whut the fuck up is the hold up on me being like the most famous person ever? I mean fuck. how much fukn cripper do I have to get up in this crusty old bitch.

I mean I should be at LEAST as famous as that backup dancer in that Pringles commercial by now. Especially with like the horror core style of media avoidance campaign that fukn carlton that piece of stinking rotting shit has made us endure. But no, shit, no, we know it’s good, gotta percolate, gotta regulate, like I told true, you gotta know when it’s time to regrease the griddle, and time to reap that which you sow (ok no that’s too cliché’d and already used in this here, um, ok that there, um, space) and then you gotta, you know, gotta know when to say when but not in regards to drunk driving, although I in no way endorse it but I have been a party to it. seriously.

Seriously.

clips win. Lebron james sits down the stretch he’s puttin’ up so many bricks. Quentin Richardson going nuts and corey maggette getting all spaggette. And to make a great night grand, joe’s whorriors get pasted by carmelo’s nugs. Gracias.

Oh and ryan’s grizzles ass-raped the blazers in grabbin’ bonzi wells even though he is kind of psycho he’s a preemo baller and once he chills out with white chocolate and battier and gets like mind melded by jerry west it’ll all be copacetic, peep it memph is the sleeper in the western playoffs this year. Heard it here first.

They’ll still get their asses kicked by the clippers in the 2nd round though. Don’t believe me? Keep watching. Watch when Elton comes back, watch when this team really starts gelling, cuz on a stormy night on some Wednesday in fact Friday in fact tomorrow they’re gonna go off twice as hard. Gyeah.

How much metal is too much to put in a microwave? I’ve been asking myself this question ever since I set fire to a pair of pants in the oven the other day.

Rain rain go away, go to the Mercado of steve martin’s alter ego and never come back again or grace this house (grace? Curse) with your presence except when it’s really dry out and the hills are brown. Yes? Gracias.

I’d be so down to go to mex right now. Bummed not. San migeul de allende y Dolores hidalgo would be the dopamatic sidetrip in so menny wayz right nizow werd up on that shit.

Oh yeah I’m famous over at jamie’s so peep it out. Ya dig? Yah you that one person, go check it out, scroll down and click, if you figure it out you get a gold star, and that shit is valuable. Yah.

Ok back to werk.

now. We can get. To the serious shit. yessir. Nosirr. Maybe sirr. Yes and no and all that sis to you ma’am as well. Gracias. De nada. Jur…. Um, forget about it. seriously. No really. Not joking this time.

Ok that was a close one. Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you. I’m not even gonna say what famous rap star might be involved in the whole you know, affair, going on with you know that water guy and the um like lobster but not guy. They are definitely not involved in this in any way shape or form.

Shit. every word seems extraneous. It’s like, whatever shit I write just ends up sounding like overwrought bullshit just word dexterity just fukn type stupid shit that seriously if the you know what Mercado was involved then just fuck it it would be totally retarded.

Ok but seriously, this is the gutter and I can say whatever kine stooopid shiznattle that I want anyway, not like other shit ain’t the gutter either. But shit I don’t have to be clear for you people, you know the fukn terminology of this game, it’s that fukn jinx bathroom shit, that fukn jene say kwah action with removable parts and bitches named sally.

And then you’re gonna grab a big old fucking bag of peanuts and take em on the goddamm dumbo ride and spin around like a big ol piece of shit and then you’re gonna get slapped up the side the head by some big fat bitch with like a fukn tumor on her left fibula, all fukn like staring you down and shit and like calling you a big jerk and sayin like shit that you suck you know or you ain’t shit or your backyard dog is just a spoon fed infant down on 83rd street. Totally shit like that.

The locks have been stocked and the barrel has been gutted and prepared for transport.

Hiding out over in this corner for a while. Hope you don’t mind, and if you do then you know the drill. I still um need to write random crap, of that I cannot be cured, but I can at least make it more difficult for those that will chop down the tree to find the tree. Cuz the tree is me and I am the tree. Of that there can be no doubt, except for, um, the fact that it might not be true. Fuck it.

This strategy seemed to werk well a week or two ago when I had to make an important phone call. Write some shit, and then do that shit. but see, now another call needs a making. And this one is going to solidify the enterprise of the first one, to the degree that if this one gets flailed, it’s like I might as well have never even started this vicious chain. Ok here goes. Shit, time to bizzle. And for those not in the know, bizzle means, um, make a phone call? Actually it must be something starting with a b but hell you caught me I was freestyling.

Oh hello, you’re still here? How nice of you. phone call went ok I guess, but still ain’t talked the head cheese, but meester subordinate whatevs seems copacetic and down for my cause of meeting with the ocean next week. So wish me luck on that one.

They need to make a new batman movie, but a really good one this time. Like all dark, and please no george clooney involvement. As in nada. Also, fuck robin, sorry, just doesn’t work in the movies, I’m a big fan of the whole robin dillio but um, ok, maybe it was just that actor sucked. Yah, prolly. Um, shit, I don’t know, I just found this sitting here in word like an hour later and my mind’s on other things. Please forgive my lack of attention and my unwillingness to edit the chaff from this goat.

Arrgghhh I hate when fucking faxes won’t go. Hey you on the other line, think you could stop smoking crack for like 5 seconds and stop sitting on the receiver or like making copies of your grandma’s secret fruitcake recipe and like check the goddamm fucking fax machine? Shit, time to go to war. These boys at war, fucking Tuesday, Thursday, I don’t give a fuck.

Calgon, would it be much of an improposition if you could take me the fuck away right now? As in far away? As in away from this jurk storr shit? as in like in a bubble bath with mr. Bubble if he was mrs. Bubble and it was like all good and that kine stuff? Thanks in advance.

Ok somebody on the Escobar team is kind of taking care of some mildly zone-wrecking type shit for me, at least in a theoretical sense, and, uh, shit, there you go, turns out they can’t do shit and my name might be shinola. But shit, shinola’s underrated anyhow, least that’s how I see it, I mean imagine that you go your whole life thinking you’re the shit, then it turns out you’re shinola instead? I mean, has anything really changed? Do you see yourself any differently? Are your accomplishments any less accomplished? Has your burning effigy of a self-image been in anyway compromised by your sudden lack of identification quadrant? I would say no, but, then, what the fuck do I know? I say shinola granola, gran pappy canola oil, it’s all good in the hood and if you got a blue bonnet, bust it out, cuz it’s harvest time at the skunk works. peace.

So apparently while I was on the mainland hawaii decided to start having a little rain. And then it decided to have a little more. And then apparently a decision was come to at which point in time it would dump a shitload of rain. And at some point subsequent to this said event a consensus was agreed upon that a veritable assload of agua would be desecrated upon our persons. And then it really started to come down.

So yeah it’s raining. And it’s been raining for like the last 4 days some say. Others would probably say the same thing but I haven’t asked them. And I’m not asking you. unless you’re here. If you are, hey, lemme know whut you think about this shit. what the hell. I’m supposed to come back here to better weather, not worse. I mean seriously.

Plus everyone’s cranky as hell. Ok well maybe not everyone, but everyone I’ve come in contact with. Well, except for that one guy, but he was pleasantly medicated. So anyway, yeah, people get all bent out of shape when the weather gets all jacked up around here. And come to think of it the guy that wasn’t bothered by it is actually from new york and has only been here for like a few months, so this is like walk in the Parkville for him.

Aside from jacked out weather and annoyed individuals, there is the question to address of the rain water leaking in from the side of our building. Every time it rains excessively we get leaks. I still have not figured out the relation. In all somberness, however, the repercussions of said event (déjà vu?) are that I must now write a letter to skunk management in regards to this problemo. I have been instructed to pen a “new format” letter different from the preceding 8 or 9 over the last couple years so that there will be a more important color attached to said action task. Now I ask you how many different ways can you say “there’s motherfucking water leaking into our building, asshat.”

Well that was prolly a new and different way of getting it across. Hmmm, suddenly I am genuinely impressed with my own genius. Just kidding. So yeah, I played some good games (recognize game) of basketball while in g-town. shit I almost dropped a triple-dub. Ferreal though I was en fuego for a certain period of time, but sadly said era came to a close. However bombs were dropped and cities evacuated, if by city you mean the painted area, and if by painted area you mean the key of the blacktop behind the old church where boo radley used to scream at us to get the hell out of there at 2 in the morning cuz he and the monks were trying to sleep.

And then we went to 7-11 and got Gatorades. Oh & yes I ate a shitload of turkey. The end.

so yadda yadda yadda jurk storr etcetera and all that shit.