So I might talk story with the terror skwad. Sheeiitt. And I thought Brandon was famous. After this, it’ll be like the jurk storr called and then forwarded morrissey’s co collaborator onto the line, and then we all wrote the ultimate album, assisted by the ghosts of Randy Rhoads and Big Pun.

I’ll keep you posted. Oh yeah, I’mma be the best. The bestest than the restest. At least in whut I do, for like, well, a while, and an open bar is involved, and, well, no, it’s not at the RNC although I wish I coulda been there, but it was more important to be south of the border for serious biz, and I’m not like that guy from west wing, you know, the prez’s chief of staff I think, it’s like, for me, the personals is mas importante then affairs of state, especially when it’s for the solamente una that is like, eh, you know how it goes, or, well, prolly don’t, but you should, it ain’t easy but goddaMn when you got that codified good shit, well, nothing can compare.

Just axe, uh, axl. No, actually, just ask, shit, just ask me. I know. Even though I don’t, not really, nobody does.

I’ve misplaced my masters of illusion cd & it’s pissing me off. Ps: fuck sam goody. Mofos ain’t even got keith’s new record on sale AND they had the nerve to have it hiding behind knocturnal, fukn cracked out crackalack, ok he’s not, but still, man, whut a mofo gotta do to get some dap up in this dusted dustry? So I moved that shit to the front of the rack, but I ain’t payin no $17.99. sorry mr. Thornton, you deserve better.

how does jim treacher consistently find the stuff that deeply fascinates me and sends me on a journey of self and other discovery across the whole (hole) of the internet?

Prolly cuz he always remembers to drink his ovaltine.

Oh yah this blog seems pretty damn interesting, hat tip/nod etcetera to anti.

PS: officer bird is laid up in the hospital. In lieu of flowers please send assorted seeds.

Oh yah and this is a good fantastic four site.

Yup, I’m the most useful resource in all the land, what more could you possibly need? That’s right, zero your hero.

PPS: officer bird is feeling much better. Thanks for asking.

Yo yo yo bottle of brass monkey all that asshat shit. My girlie hooked me up with a seven fittie of crown DAMN is she the bomb or whut?? Holy shit, yes she is.

I just emailed to myself the whole master thesis via the triple dub and whut with yahoo & google pimpin out so much free storage room it was easy as pie. Seriously, fuck hotmail. What are they even thinking even still existing? Are you listening mr. Gates? Get yer shit together you big fukn pile.

If you ever get an email from me via hotmail, well, then you’ve established my secret identity, but that mein freundes will never happen unless you are actually in actuality my actual friend ie in meatspace ie the real world ie not on mtv.

Retardo Montalban is the man myth legend, but he ain’t half as cooo as hervay villashez. You heard it hear in the middle.

Ps: fraggle rock.

PPS: uh, shit, I gotta score the new keith. Who wants to sponsor me on that shit. I gave you the hook up. Nah fuck that, I’ll handle it. Fareal. Now go make me a pbj with extra something or other.

You heard it here first. The Schmidts FINALLY have a blog. Now you can keep up on all Schmidt related events at your leisure. Stay tuned and never forget. Never. Did you hear me. This is important shit. I’m not being sarcastic. In fact, I don’t know the meaning of the word. I foresee great things there. Ok, now you know.

Um, shit, I need like mad more connects for like literary circle kine etcetera acre type ass crapsterpiece central.

Did I ever mention that the jurk storr called. Yes, well, fuck you then.

No, not you. Yes, wait, yeah, you. Quality equals job 873. for rizzle.

Ok I’ll write something better just cuz you deserve it. Damn, I deserved to get fired. I am worth, like, a dollar and 83 cents. Prolly not even that. I’m like, not even enuff to put in an envelope and mail, even though I would totally rip it up. The envelope, not the stage, although I could prolly fuck that up too.

Betrayal, scarface steelo, all over the place, nobody down like even half of a downtown Julie Brown. I’d say that it hurts, but, well, eh.

If you can’t figger something out, my recommendation is to use the internet and find it, and yes that’s some pretty retarded advice, but sometimes you think that you can’t do something that it just ain’t the card dealers wherewithal that what you do should be involved in that which you imagined or the jurk storr rep imagined that which you might be able to do but sometimes the hardest things have potential to be the easiest & vice versa and sometimes not at all.

And fuck the internet as well, I mean, get on your bicycle and go down to the drug store or possibly the cigarette shop & don’t buy smokes buy some actuality crystal ball beads, and shit, there, you just thought of something, aren’t you proud of yourself. Axing for help is no shame, but being helpless to axe is the ultimate anti-irony.

Blah blah shitburg. That’s the last time I try to pen about something that is a real life dillio.

The master thesis is up to 22,600 something werds.

Of crap.

No serially, I think it might be not horrible.

Big ups to, uh, Anchorage. Home of the blind buffalo.

Oh yah, I really, really, need to purchase the new kool keith cee-dee, with kutmasta kurt, um, you could send me like a bunch of illegal copies if you like, c/o the jurk storr at 123 whatthehell lane, Nantucket, Wisconsin, 99999, that addy’s not real in case you’re not smart.

I’mma erase that paragraph inna minnitt, now that the carlton committee is off my back like heron whut with the burroughs type habitat.

Bleeeeeeeeh.