It’s probably derivative at this point, and no I don’t care whether I’m using that word correctly, because if you’re reading this, why wouldn't you be reading that, the turtle asked the owl, but clipperblog slapped up an excellent post today outlining 7 games (representing the 7 fewer the clips won this year than last) that should’ve been wins this season.

Continuing in the things you probably already know department, ClipperSteve puts forth a good argument for the clippers not necessarily being the biggest disappointment in the league this year.

Although much of the blame for this sadsack year has to fall, at least to some degree, on coach Dunleavy’s back, you gotta give him a little credit (I guess) for kind of seeing some of it coming (not sure if that’s a bad thing, a la self fulfilling prophecy, or a good thing, a la forethought is forewarned.) From the OC Register:

When the Clippers got off to a 6-2 start this season, Dunleavy cautioned against runaway expectations, stating that the team was fortunate to have won several close games that could have gone either way.

The team's offensive stagnation and defensive deficiencies concerned Dunleavy in the first few weeks. So did the Clippers' subpar rebounding and turnover problems.

"We've got to get our act together," the Clippers coach said at that time.

This KIND OF explains, at least to me, why he might have chosen to bring Maggette off the bench for so much of the year like he did. Even when Maggs was playing great at the end of the year, he was still VERY turnover prone, with 6 or 7 turnovers seemingly a standard, even as he was scoring between 20 & 25 points, grabbing rebounds, and creating general havoc. Also remember that the team defense focused Corey that appeared out of thin air after the trade deadline wasn’t really in the building the first few months. Not that this excuses Dunleavy taking it to the degree that he did; it was his job to incorporate the skill sets that he had on his roster, handle the morale issues, keep everybody’s heads on straight, at least to a modicum, and shuffle the lineups accordingly to win games. I really don’t believe he did that as well as he could. He apparently did see some of the writing on the wall, though, even when LA got off to that nice start.

What he couldn’t have foreseen, though, were all the injuries (especially the horrific one to Shaun), the nagging problems Sam had that basically kept him MIA all year, the unbelievable headcase that Chris Kaman would become, then unbecome, then become again. Sigh, why am I still going over all this crap? Ah, but what better time, though, and what better place?

In the shit that still might possibly matter department, my longtime blogging compatriot in arms bastitch, a lifelong warriors fan, and thereby thoroughly confused by the smile on his face this time of year, may or may not be contributing his bay area wisdom to these proceedings. Gratzi, salud, & may you always find shade.

Well, this settles the mystery (I mean, I figured the answer was obvious anyway, but it’s nice to see it in black & white) of if the clips were aware of the score of the Warriors Blazers game during last nite’s anticlimactic death knell of a game at Staples center (from the LA times):

"Obviously, I'm disappointed that we lost the game tonight," Coach Mike Dunleavy said. "Unfortunately, by halftime, we knew Golden State was up 18 at the half. Our guys came out a little bit flat."

JA Adande (again, the Times) is (I guess) appropriately snarky about the end of the clips’ season, with the headline to his column today: “These are the Clippers we know and love.”

Look at it this way: the Clippers now have a 0.5% chance of winning the NBA draft lottery and landing Greg Oden or Kevin Durant, which is better than the 0.0% chance they had of beating the Dallas Mavericks in the first round of the playoffs.

Get on board, folks: Secaucus, N.J., is the new capital of Clipper Nation.

Sigh. Sad but true. Now comes the routine annual postseason that longtime clipper fans are used to, and were jolted out of their annual routine thereby by the playoff run last season: gearing up for the NBA draft.

Adande makes another point, in relation to something I mentioned yesterday, about the Mavericks’ tanking that game a couple days back against Golden State, and late season intentional flailing in general:

David Stern, who once fined the Lakers for leaving Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Magic Johnson home for a meaningless end-of-the-season game at Portland, is going to have to figure out what to do about teams that don't try to win games with playoff implications. Maybe he can even address it in the same memo that deals with teams tanking to improve their lottery odds.

I've never heard that story. Where did that old Stern disciplinarian we know and hold general apathy toward go? oh yeah, he's kicking ref's asses around the block. who knows, maybe he'll pipe up about all this intentional losing balderdash, but I highly doubt it, and I actually don't really think he should. Like Dunleavy says (see a bit below), it's a coach's prerogative what the eff he wants to do. doesn't mean it doesn't suck sometimes for other parties, but the solution: don't suck in the first place. voila.

From, again, yes,(who was the a-hole whining about a lack of mainstream media clipper coverage the other day? find him, kill him) the LA Times:

…Dirk Nowitzki, Josh Howard and Jerry Stackhouse sat out the Warriors' 111-82 victory at Oakland. In addition, Jason Terry and Devin Harris played only 18 and 16 minutes, respectively.

The Warriors then clinched the eighth spot and eliminated the Clippers from playoff contention Wednesday with a 120-98 victory over the Portland Trail Blazers.

Meanwhile, the Mavericks' stars returned in a rout of Seattle.

That's just the way it goes, Coach Mike Dunleavy said.

"All teams have the right to do what's best for them," Dunleavy said. "They clearly had a choice and they made it. They made it in a big way.

End scene. There’s rumblings that Avery handed the Dubs that silver platter dub via the rationale of actually hoping that Golden State would move UP, rather than to screw over the clippers, thinking maybe the lakers would lose at Sacramento, leaving Dallas to play that “other” LA team in the first round.

Whatever, it just doesn’t effin matter anymore. I’ve said it before, and so have a million other people, the clips shoulda taken care of business WAY earlier this season. And they didn’t. Yet here we are, at least, here I am, still yappin about it. Why, he bellowed at the tear stained pillow, mascara all asmear, why? No wire hangers, indeed.

Clippersteve wrote an interesting post on the mavericks yesterday. I encourage you to read it for yourself, but in a nutshell it kinda delves into what Mavs coach Avery Johnson’s motivations may have been for playing not his B, not his C, but his Z team against the warriors, when in two other games since clinching the #1 spot, he was playing his big guns what approximated normal minutes. The comments run the gamut from valid ideas (the home games the stars played, the road games, they didn’t. Makes sense, give the fans what they’re paying for), to maverick trolls saying clips fans have no right to bitch (true, although the logic of said troll is quite a bit off, cuz steve does start off the post with the proviso that that the clips have no one to blame but themselves), to, finally, high comedy backlash of clips nation to said trollage, capped by this gem from “Skip”:

I was at the Warriors v. Mavs game (I'm a W's fan)and I'm hear to report that Dirk sat right next to Cuban the whole time, holding hands and on a leash. Cuban may even have breast fed him at one point.

That legitimately put the first NBA related smile on my face since fast forwarding through and finally turning off in disgust that still stomach churning experience that occurred at staples center last night. More on that later, because it’s still the morning, and coffee mixed with excess stomach acid may equal projectile vomiting. You already know, the Warriors blew out Portland, what the clippers did didn’t end up mattering anyway, and those present had to watch them go through the motions and flail around for a while before barely losing to NOOCH.

(Jesus here I go talking about it anyway.) I was able to make it through the whole first quarter and the first 3 minutes of the 2nd before I started on the serious fast forwarding. The warriors game was slipping further & further out of reach for Portland, and as I blasted through half time and the the third & fourth, watching bits and pieces, stopping to see what Ralph & Mike were talking about, I realized the game against the Blazers must be just about over when I noticed that Mike & Ralph weren’t talking about THIS season anymore, but the OFF season and what moves the suddenly (well, not that suddenly, the last couple years, but suddenly is relative, especially when you’ve done essentially NOTHING but work the draft as your team’s GM for 10 plus years and then you’re one of the league’s perennial wheeler dealers, even winning GM of the year) frisky Elgin Baylor might make. It was saddening, and I verified the situation, fast forwarded to the end, and really found it hard to give a shit either way about the conclusion, another clipper loss to another team with nothing to play for, a sad capper to an ultimately frustrating season. Is it just me that had lost any zing for the moment? Was there a general sense of apathy in the building once the score up north had been announced? WAS the score announced? Even if it wasn’t, I have to think word somehow spread through the building. Who knows.

The reason I go into all this is I told my wife that I had said “screw it” and fast forwarded through the game, and she was confused, and I explained to her that the telecast was scoreboard watching for the other game, and she was still confused, she didn’t know they were gonna do that, and then I told her the clippers lost, and she said “oh, well it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, they lost” and I explained, well, who knows how the game would have ended if the clippers had heard about a warriors loss, their motivation would have been different, and she said (he said, she said, I know, I’m almost done), “but what about all the fans that paid good money to see that game? Those lazy asses, they owe it to them to try & win that game no matter what.” And she was so right, and it made me seriously wonder, what kind of bubble world have I, as a clipper fan, and more importantly, as an NBA fan, trapped my brain in when I can sit there & accept the logic of my favorite team probably mailing it in the whole 4th quarter because they’re bummed they didn’t make the playoffs, with a Staples Center full of fans that paid big bucks to watch them stink up the place? Not that they did that, like I said, I couldn’t bear to watch it, and have honestly read nothing that went into any depth about what actually happened on the court in the 2nd half, but just the fact that they could, and it wouldn’t surprise me. Nothing against the clips, it’s just, the dragging end of an NBA regular season, a pretty depressing sight from a number of different angles.

(in all fairness, after reading the game recap on yahoo, it appears the clips played to win down the stretch, and tried to give the fans a show, so, hey, that is something to be proud of. I mean, yeah, victories, or lack there of, have definitely been less phyrric, (ok, wrong use of arcane phraseology, but, hopefully you get the point), but it’s good to see that theoretically the crew was giving the faithful a semblance of what they, the fans, had been putting down hard earned cashola all year to see. Tough situation all around, but as far as I can tell, they tried to give the audience a show to the end. A WIN would have been nice, but if beggars were choosers, then skid row would be rodeo drive, salud.)

And that’s my amazingly fascinating story. The end. To this post, and the season. Not sure what’s next, as far as this here space. Probably some playoff coverage, leaning more towards the upcoming Mavs Warriors series more than anything else, likely, in equal parts me thinking of it as the series the clips might have been in, and the weird ethereal connection that clips & warriors fans have with each other as the perennial cellar dwellers of the Pacific only recently having made semi-good. If there’s a Laurel to the Clippers’ Hardy in the league, it’s mos def Golden State. Speaking of that series, you’re guaranteed to get monster coverage of it at Golden State of Mind, so keep the bat signals tuned over there if that’s your cup of tea.


Another job of mine (job, sigh). Scratch that, another privilege (hah!) of mine will be to put some kind of literary (he deludedly told himself) capper on this strange season that we just enjoyed/endured. For now, though, I’m still in mourning, at least until about noon. Aloha.

Not sure how much time/energy I have, so this is gonna be pretty all over the place, and picking and plucking from a variety of sources with way better information slash writing skills slash brainpower slash will to live than I currently hold. OK, maybe I have just as much if not more will to live (I’m like a wiley ? sand crab) but I’ll put my lack of knowledge up there with the best. Again, question mark, and accept a certain degree of haphazard self deprecation. I know I’m the shit. Read that as you will. In fact, just keep moving, seriously, it gets better (yippety), promise, mainly because of innernet liftage.

You know the rules, everything in italics below is other parties' brilliant words, everything in plain type is my own baldfaced pseudo wisdom. Enjoy.

Kickin off the jams, er, chapter one to my sad semblance of a prelude, big thanks to dallas for putting up such a valiant effort against the Warriors last night. Gratzi as well for plunging that rusty screwdriver into my stomach.

From clipper steve at clips nation:

Avery Johnson will definitely NOT be receiving a Christmas card from ClipsNation this year. You know, I have seen teams intentionally try to avoid winning when it directly benefited them, as with the Clipper/Grizzlie tank-fest last season. I've seen teams rest their stars in games where the outcome did not matter to anyone in the league. But I can't recall a more egregious example of a team losing a game where the outcome so directly affected a third team. I mean, don't you have an obligation to the league as a whole to make SOME effort?

Karma, of course, is a bitch. And so, evidently, is Avery Johnson. At any rate, Dallas' disrespectful actions may come back to bite them in the playoffs. If the Warriors get past Portland tomorrow night, they absolutely deserve to lose to the Dubs in the first round - the fact that they've now lost 5 straight to the Warriors indicates that karma will have the weapons it needs...

...As for the Clippers-Suns, we remember these kinds of games. We saw a bunch of them last season. Clippers win the battle of the boards 49-37 (including 20 offensive rebounds), Clippers win the game. It's pretty much that simple.
The Suns missed some shots - they're only beatable when they do. The Clippers played good enough defense and hustled, but still, the Suns are capable of making a lot of the shots they missed tonight. They're too good on offense, with lots of weapons and imaginative schemes - they're always going to get looks. If they make them, they win. If they miss some, you have a chance.

Not that we really have a right to bitch about any of this. A win against a PIECE OF SHIT sacramento semblance of a squad on Sunday, and we don’t have to even worry about what the hell the warriors are doing. As the effervescent clipperblog much more illuminatingly (than I ever could) elucidates:

MSM sports reporters like to remind the public that they have unique access to players and coaches. This privilege can present a dimension that a guy sitting at home just doesn’t have. Whereas the blogger can offer analysis and opinion, reporters are able to hear Mike Dunleavy say something like this:

"From what I'm hearing, Dallas didn't play their guys," Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy said. "Obviously Phoenix played their guys, so it tells you they (the Mavericks) probably prefer to play Golden State than us. That's what it comes down to."

I know that coaches and players are no more honest in front of the microphone than are Ari Fleischer or Tony Snow, so I’m reluctant to invest too much into what they say in their postgame comments, but Dunleavy is priceless. Do you really believe that, Coach? Do you really believe that [a] Dallas doesn’t believe that they can grind either team into kibbeh nayyeh or [b] faced with a choice, and given that the Warriors have molded themselves into a confident, inexhaustible, coherent group of guys that clearly love to play basketball, that they wouldn’t rather see the Clippers?

I guess Dunleavy has a point. After all, how would Dallas ever prepare for a team that has used 24 starting lineups, a team that has shown all the intensity of Peter Gibbons after he decides to defy Lumbergh?

Aha. An office space reference. Me likey. Anyway, that basically says it all about that. Dunleavy’s high on crack if he thinks Dallas would rather play the clips, and enjoying visages of mushroom perched caterpillars via the mescaline if he think Avery wants his squad worrying about which chump change outfit they’re playing in the first round in any event. Johnson, & you can’t blame him, wants his guys thinking “fuck the last couple games of the regular season, we’re the fucking DALLAS MAVERICKS! We SHIT bigger than Elton brand or Baron Davis. they are to us as david is to goliath. Wait, scratch that, new speech.” Eh, you get the drift, or not. Either way, I get paid (wait a second. Goddammit.)

Speaking of (not that I was, nice segue, Keith, really, excellent work) people that really actually do get paid to write crap like this (only much much better and with, like, uh, thought and non runon sentences involved, and lists, and uh, millions of readers, and paid advertisers, but besides that, I rule! He said in self flagellation). Where was I? Oh yeah, Bill Simmons put together part 2 of his MVP list, and overall an entertaining read, but I have to ding him for an egregious copout at the #1 spot. I mean, eh, yeah, egregious, gotta ding, yep.

Getting to the heart of the matter, that’s me, john cougar, er, peter Gabriel, eh, I know it’s neither. Anyway. Third, 4th, whatever off, gotta give the crew (ie our beloved clippers) a modicum of props for the win in Phoenix last night. Also, after mildly ridiculing by proxy Tim Thomas, he came out with a nice line last night, 18 points, 8 boards I believe, with some huge threes. Yeah, it’s a bit too little too late scenario, but I believe if by some miracle the fates align and we DO move on, this is the TT we’ll see moving forward, at least this season. The guy shows up for the big games. The only problem being, if no one shows up for the small games, you don’t GET to the big games. Anyway, that’s been sufficiently ground into the ground, uh, ground beef style.

Moving on. Tonight. Ok, you all know how this works, theoretically. Tonight are the two biggest games of the year, the only games left that matter, to determine if the clips stay alive. Clips have to win at home against NOOCH and Golden State has to lose up in Portland. The big stretch is the Warriors falling to the Trailblazers, because if last week’s clippers game in Oregon was any indication, that’s one of the easiest w's in the league right now. BUT the clips were on a roll at that point, coming immediately off of the huge win against the lakers, BUT don’t forget the warriors are on a monster roll of their own right now. By the way, is Roy even playing? I know he missed a few games with a ruptured labia (I jest). Digging &, aha, Golden state of mind answers my question:

Brandon Roy, Zack Randolph, LaMarcus Aldridge, Joel Przybilla, and Darius Miles (remember him?) will all be in street clothes tomorrow evening, some at the Rose Garden and others- well, who knows where?

and, oh yes, we remember Darius Miles. That’s OK, he can stay on the bench. Zack, Brandon, Bueller? Anyone? Anyone got anything to throw towards the cause? (shit.)

Anyway, in regards to the actual clippers game tonite, hornets 247 pontificates:

Warriors-Blazers tips at 9pm Central, while Hornets-Clips gets underway a half hour later. If the Warriors do somehow lose to the Blazers, the fourth quarter of our game could be mighty interesting. Maybe Byron Scott will pull the starters and fuck up Baron Davis' Playoff dream.

We could only, but yes, possibly, be so lucky. I’ve thinking about this all night, all day, and during quality john time usually spent reading the wheel of time, what is my reaction going to be if, around 4th quarter of a tight game, and Ralph or Mike announce via my tivo that the Warriors just won? Do I just turn that shit off? Do I continue to watch? If I’m still watching do I cheer for a win or start throwing tomatoes at the screen? What do the clippers do, what does dunleavy do? Is the score going to be announced at staples, especially if it’s bad news? I am thoroughly confused. I have a sinking feeling that I will just sit and watch and cry and likely soil myself. But with pride. But if golden state loses? Wow, that 4th quarter becomes the most watchable bit of ball for the whole year, and then if the clips lose, then, well, the real soilage begins. Ok, the tangent police called, and, well, I’ve been reprimanded away from the keyboard. Go clips.

From the LA Times' TJ Simers' column today:

"We basically had only two guys, Quinton Ross and Elton Brand, who showed up against Sacramento," Coach Mike Dunleavy said. "After watching film of that game, I felt like throwing up. I told the players if that doesn't hurt you, I wish there's some way I could know that, because I don't want you here."

That’s the gem quote, but TJ also makes some good points about the fact that Elton & Coach Dunleavy can bitch until the cows come home, but just about every key piece of this team is signed long term, so trying to move pieces around will be difficult. I’m back and forth on this. I like our pieces, I like our team, I just wonder, Jesus Christ, if they are going to fall over and let the SACTO KINGS walk all over them in the most dire of circumstances, then what the eff are we paying these guys for? Sigh.

The other big theme of the day across clipper coverage land seems to be rising season ticket prices, vis a vis their inherent seeming lack of excessive worth if the team keeps going in the direction (down) that it currently seems to be embarked on. Sad state of affairs, the only saving grace (and a small pathetic scrap of one at that) being that if the losing continues, and ticket prices have to inevitably dump again, certain people long gone from LA that may or may not come back in a couple years would then return for nice cheap staples seats, but, sadly, to watch the formerly familiar yet heartbreakingly painful crapsketball we used to know and despise. Well, it’s a tradition, right? Right.

In other realms, Bill Simmons went intermittently down the line of the tail end of his MVP balloting, getting from #450 to #89. Relating to the Clippers, Corey Maggette came in at 94, but the kicker (at least to me, and in a number of ways, including a painful one in the ass of all clipper fans if too much time is spent pondering it) is Tim Thomas’ ranking at #245:

This was my first experience directly watching an NBA player parlay two months of quality playoff work into a four-year contract, then immediately stop giving a crap and playing hard once every four games. ... And lemme tell you, it was magical. In fact, it's even a little contagious: I no-showed six Clippers games in the past three months, including two in the past week (Portland and Sacramento). I didn't care whether I went or anyone else used the tickets -- the money was already down the drain, so why kill yourself worrying about it, you know? If anything, it's a cool feeling not to care. I feel just like Tim Thomas. So thank you, Timmy. You've opened a whole new world for me. Don't take it personally on Fan Appreciation Night this Wednesday as I'm lobbing frozen pieces of horse manure at you.

I'm speechless. Well, almost. Speaking of Tim and his old club, Phoenix, where he earned that fat contract our beloved LA Bastard Stepchildren are now paying him, the clips take on the Suns, yes I know, I know you know, yes, in the valley of Helios este noche. whatever goat statue, ethereal entity, or chakra laden crystal you are currently worshipping, throw in a verse or two for lack of clipper ignominy for old keith el otro and our favorite squad. You know, for, uh, something's sake. gratzi.

Exhibit # 383 why I love Tim Kawakami’s Golden State Warrior coverage and wish daily upon a star that the mainstream media had a guy half as wolverninish and obsessive covering the Clippers on a day to day basis. (Maybe if the Lakers didn't exist, there would be, but I doubt it) Anyway, from Kawakami’s blog yesterday:

It’s right there for the Warriors, who played marvelously and destroyed Minnesota on Sunday while the Clippers coughed and gagged up a home loss to dead Sacramento.

(Hey, in one off his last acts as Kings coach, Eric Musselman finally did something to get the Warriors into the playoffs! Chris Mullin might have to send him some flowers. Then offer to fire him again.)

wow. Harsh (especially if you’re a clipper fan, or Eric Musselman, for that matter) but so dead-on true. Coughed and gagged might even be a bit generous. More like rolled in asleep in a coffin and hit the snooze bar throught the fesitivities. Sigh/shalom, etc. and yet I still sit here praying (ok, not praying, fervently hoping) for a Golden State loss & Clipper win tonite. Yes, I am stupid. Aloha.

Anyway, read the whole Kawakami post; it’s a great analysis of the last two games' (er, 4 games, 2 for each team) import for both teams, ramifications, blah blah, which I just don’t have the heart nor energy to go into. I think you know already anyway, and it just depresses me too much to ponder to a level more indepth than “have to win in Phoenix tonite” which is depressing enough.

You know you're in a frightening den of sullen iniquity when the pic of the day is quincy douby goin up for the jam. sigh. just a real quick ramblin scramblin han soloish (?) rundown of the days, er, past couple days, activity, care of your friendly and slightly beginning to get sloshy on a Sunday late afternoon (just hit six post meridien here in the islands, gratzi, yup, jamaican rum, enjoy), and, well, the clippers took a nice crap at staples, yes? yes. and who are on the opposite end? why, who has been at the opposite end of SO MANY inquisitions of the not so spanish (nothing against spaniards, it's an expresion, natch) sort, yup, the sacto queens. goldang. they just have dunleavy's and the LAC's number, er, numero. yes indeedio. well, we have to pull up our bootstraps I guess, now don't we, because it ain't over until that fat bitch hits e-minor, and she's still in her trailor doing breathing exercises. it's cool, I checked, believe it. so, shit, ron artest, I hardly knew you, 10 assists, whatever, and Elton kinda callin out the crew, but maybe that's what needs to be done. 2 games left, and we gotta make em count. that was a great stompin of portland a couple days ago, don't get me wrong, but laurels weren't made for resting on, least of all at this juncture, and it seems (I didn't watch the game, back in the alf manor, thanks for asking, think the only one, pending playoffs, I'll get to watch is the finale vs. NOOCH) that laurel resting is exactly what was done. sacto. shit.

new paragraph time. don't axe me why. so, yup, golden state, whores that they are, won today againts a KG-less t-wolves. and the lakers were looking comfortable against the pitiable sonics. erg, let me check. yup, the lakers won. well, the only thing potentially good about sacto is they get both the lakers and golden state AT ARCO for their last two games. If artest is half the buddy of elton that he claims, SACTO will finish up in winning style. I won't break down the numbers, but basically, if the clips can win the next 2 (at phoenix & home against the hornets) and golden state just drops one of the next two (home against Dallas and at Portland), well, we're in business. playoff bound, per the tie breaker of division record. gratzi to inanity. but golden state has the mav's number, don't forget, and portland might be the biggest gimme in the west right now, so keep those fingers crossed, nation of LA bastard stepchildren fans. I will, here in Honolulu, as I pray to Tiki God of Koa wood and shave my dog and scatter the hair to the four winds. aloha.