transcript of clippers press conference introducing their new acquisition, kerry kittles from the new jersey nets.

I think I like this, which I already discussed. (with myself)

Oh and that guy he’s with in the picture isn’t a zombie, it’s actually elgin Baylor (looking a wee bit peaked, ruff week at the salt mines hmm?)

uh, yah.

I’m Rick James, bitch.

And I’m dead.

The 1981 national champ dodgers had some serious notables on their roster.

Dusty baker, current cubs manager.

Mike scioscia, current angels manager.

Rick Monday – hosted some really retarded tv show.

Steve Garvey – professional gimp. (and not as expensive as you’d think)

I played racquetball against this guy one time at the ymca.

Years after he retired, guess he missed the competition, something to do, etcetera.

Jesus Christ he kicked my ass.

Whacked me in the head with his racket, had that little ball flacking all over the place and beaning me in the nads, the whole nine yards.

It was an abysmal showing on my part. Looking at the picture, I’m actually a little scared. Well, scared isn’t the right word, but it brings back memories of a severe whupping.

Guess that’s why he was a DODGER.

Go Blue.

Whut a load of donkey shit. Whut you may ask? Eh. All that shite. And a bag of, fuck, I don’t know, biscuits?

Well it is Friday, so that’s something to be, whatever, I don’t know, about. Bleh. And then the jurk storr, yah fuck that shit.

So I’m listening to pirate radio on the innernet. Purty cool.

Mebbe I’ll try to duck out & visit g-dog and hit him wit that American psycho shit which he indicated he wanted to read. Play some foosball?? Why not. Why. Ask why. Bud dry, yah, whatevs. Sense a pattern? Me neither.

You should clickie your way over to page 2 and bill simmons cuz he wrote a really funny thing about that movie varsity blues today. Sorry I don’t have the energy to find the link. Ok I prolly do but I won’t. espn dot com and follow your nose.

I have no ill will toward anyone, really, just, like a mood or three. And then the jurk storr. Ok I don’t particularly care for e-40 or that raiders ref from the snow game, but I guess I’ve forgiven them, something I said I’d never do. Well, never say never. Again. Shitty bond movie.

How much money do you need before you stop selling out to retarded shit? Infinity plus 83? Just curious.

Typety typety why do I typety. Really, really, I’m curious?? Why. Why do any of us blab this blabbage that we blab? Genuinely and serially? It’s funny I was thinking the other day how many blogs that I read way back in the day are still around. No pay no gratification except for reader input and sometimes not even that, is it just the writing, is it the feedback, is it the idea that you’re throwing shit in the negasphere?? Even I can’t answer that and I blah blah blah BLAH with the best and werst of them.

Hmmm.

There ain’t no comments so e-me at jurkstorr at gmail dot com if you give even half of a quarter of a fuck.

Which you don’t.

Peace.

Yo. I stumbled upon a good morning schedule for my body this AM, but minus maybe two or three saltine crackers with peanut butter, then it would be perfect. Wake, shower, brush teeth, coffee, saltines & pb, read ronnie’s top 10 super villains list, THEN get bizzy with izzie. And by izzie I don’t mean a flizzie I mean the wizzie. The jibbie. You get my mizzie. minnie. yeah you.

Ps: the link above will work forever theoretically, takes you strait to #1 (doctor doom, not to be confused with dr. dooom aka kool keith or dr. doooom aka me, or at least what was once me, but they can never take my identity away, even though carlton, that’s right carlton, I said it, took away my answering machine. Whatevs.) and then you can click on the right all the rest of the top 10. that should give you about 87 astro medallions of enjoyment, roughly the equivalent of what the fuck ever. (a lot)

So, uh, fuck it. Fuck it all. Fuck it to hell. Fuck it to hell and back. I don’t mean that. I’m not that hardcore.

Go dodgers.

A few notes from the sports desk (much respect to hunter s. thompson) while I got a few minutes:

Ok, dodgers had a nice win against the 2nd place padres yesterday, but I’m still wondering why the hell, when you’re in first place, do you trade your locker room leader catcher (paul lo duca) for steve finley (who, granted, had a nice game hitting yesterday), I mean, isn’t this the same guy that got beat up by the chick from the white snake videos?? Someone explain this to me.

So, does tiger woods just totally suck now or what? My theory is it’s the Stanford connection. Had to catch up with him eventually. Everyone from Stanford sucks in the end. Look it up. I mean, ok, elway ended his football career with two strait superbowl titles, but, doesn’t he sell crappy cars and like run an arena football team now, and like, worship the devil? That’s what I heard. Ok I’m stretching, and not even in a very entertaining manner. Um, I care, the opposite of that.

The cubs, maddux, 300, nomar, uh, yah, whatevs.

Everybody laughs at ricky Williams whole “I didn’t quit football cuz I failed a drug test, I failed a drug test cuz I was ready to quit football” or something like that, but, I mean, if he was that bad of a ganj addict up to now, he would’ve been blowing piss tests non stop for 5 years. (well, looking into it, he blew 3 tests in his career, but, I mean, for a true pothead, that would’ve been like zero my hero style.) Sounds like he just wants to kick back, get high, travel all over the fukn place, and, uh, get high. Nothing wrong with that, fuck it, you got the time, you got the flow, and ain’t hurtin nobody (and the city of Miami and it’s football fans count as nobody, tee-hee) then it’s ok in my book. And, uh, that’s the only one that matters. Fuck you Al Roker. (out of nowhere, sorry)

From ESPN’s all-weed team:

The All-Weed Team starts with Williams. With three failures of league drug tests on his record, the former All-Pro even admitted to the Miami Herald last week that his desire to continue smoking pot contributed to his decision to retire. That's some serious dedication to weed. And considering that long-term marijuana might lead to motivational problems, impaired judgment and loss of ambition, it's no wonder Williams thought it wise to give up the millions of dollars remaining on his contract for a life of joblessness and bong hits. He'll get the bulk of the carries on the All-Weed Team.

Eh, I’m over it now. You don’t care anyway. Have a nice day. Ok don’t.