Thursday, November 23, 2006

Welcome to the first edition of the new phase in a dog named clipper. Shit, I don’t want to say phase, maybe it’s the opposite of that, the first phase of the new addition (or edition? Cool it now, girl, watch out, you’re gonna fall in love) of a dog named clipper. Anyway, this ain’t some new shit, it’s been around, shit, forever, but this is kind of a new format. The name of the game is I watch a game and then blab about shit after every quarter (or half, if it’s a college game). Don’t look for anything resembling consistency, cuz you’ll be disappointed, and in that respect I really don’t know why I’m explaining this shit. Links and comments to come, serially. I figure in a month I’ll be world famous, at which point, I’ll disappear again, so enjoy this shit while it’s percolating.

Anyway, tonite’s action, the Miami Heat at the San Antonio Spurs (ESPN)

1st quarter:

well, you gotta give respect to the Heat for staying tough and hanging around and yadda yadda, all that shit. Dwayne Wade, or however the fuck you spell his name, is, well, shit, maybe I underestimated him, he’s got eyes on defense, can’t deny him that, and is damn good at getting to the rack. Zo, Zo, shit, man, you can still patrol the defense and get shit done in the post, and I’m proud. Shaq, where the fuck are you? He’s too much the big papi to even be sitting on the sidelines nowadays? What the fuck, is he filming Kazaam 2 somewhere and nobody sent me the memo? Wtf? Jason Williams hurt, but he’s still sitting on the sidelines with his 93 carat diamond earring, same with James Posey, minus the bling. Michael Doleac, you have really been in the league for 9 years? Someone page my oncologist cuz a mofo is getting OLD. Ok, you can prolly tell I had a couple rums plus diet pepsi, that doesn’t matter.

SO, what do we have here? We have a very good (currently) team, the spurs, who jumped out to a decent size lead and then a pretty good yet struggling team, Miami, came back on their asses, with defense and good timing as to when to run and when to set up their offense, etc., etc.,, etc. so on to the 2nd quarter, it’s a pretty tight game. Lots of interesting little subplots of which I barely touched on, and, uh, I’ll talk more shit after the 2nd quarter. Remember where you are right now, because in 85 years, your kids will come visit you at the old folks home (trust me, people will live a LOT longer in about 20-30 years) and ask you where you were when you first read the next generation of a dog named clipper. You don’t want to disappoint them by saying “I don’t remember.”

2nd quarter:

whoah, did I say that was a close game? Spurs kinda just blew it out. What was a 1 or 2 point game is now a 19 point one, in favor of san antone. Tony Parker with 17 points, man is that guy fast. That last move before the half, with the left and the English, holy smokes (was it English or French, eh, whatever). Brent Barry. Who knew? Boy is 2nd? In the league in 3 point shooting, behind Luke Walton of the lakers, but Walton taking about half the attempts, shooting something sick like 55% from 3. I remember the days when Brent Barry was a clipper (hence the name a dog named clipper, I am a HUGE clipper fan, and if there ever is a game on a station that I get that will be the game featured herein, deal with it Afghanistan) anyway… so, uh, spurs wiping the floor, tony parker looking fantastic, gary payton looking frisky yet tired, Tim Duncan looking sharp yet nonchalant, Shaq looking not in the building, Wade looking determined yet immensely frustrated, not sure what’s going on, maybe bruce bowen (actually, yep, bowen) that makes sense. Sigh, bruce bowen, 35 years old and still the preeminent outside defender, how does he do it? Oh well. Zo struggling both on the boards and the blocks, basically san antone wiping the floor, ginobli playing pretty well too, but parker definitely the catalyst, we’ll see what happens in the 3rd, if anything, to turn this all around.

After the 3rd:

Still a blowout, even worse, spurs up 85-62. Believe it or not, my player of the game up to this point would be Bruce Bowen, and he’s only got 5 points. Loco, si, but he’s been all over the place, basically blanketing wade and just about getting in the way of everything that miami’s been trying to do. As annoying as he is, I still have to say kudos.

4th quarter:

I wisely veer away from the tivo and check live television and quickly discover that the spurs won by 20. Thus is why my funke funke knowledge is only rivaled by kool moe dee. Yup, the spurs look good, look like contenders, they do, and the heat, well, they look like they got some serious problems, at least for now. Granted, they’re heavily injured, but, well, it’s not pretty. Salud and aloha.

Pounding the Rock

Crazy from the Heat


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